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November 2019

The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican: The Winter Woollies Tour

15th November 2019 @ 8:00 pm - 10:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria, Cumbria LA18 4HZ United States
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£16 – £18

The Beggar's Theatre are proud to be hosting the return of anarchic comedy folk band, The Bar-Steward Sons of Val Doonican on the opening night of their Winter Woollies Tour.   Hailing from Barnsley Rock City, these northern monkeys are on a mission... determined to follow in their spiritual father’s immortal footsteps and keep his legacy alive, they have a talent for Bar-Stewardizing other famous people’s songs with new comedy lyrics, on acoustic geetar, banjo, fiddle, mandolin, accordion, keyboard, keytar, and the world's first synthesiser ukulele! To complete their squeaky-clean image, brothers-from-other-mothers Scott, Björn and Alan have…

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Moonbeam On A Cat’s Ear

28th November 2019 @ 10:00 am - 10:45 am
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£6.00

10am show Adapted from the book by Marie-Louise Gay and produced by Vision Mechanics.“A visual adventure with puppetry, movement and music for children ages 3+” In the middle of the night Rosie, Toby Toby, the cat and the mouse sneak out to play in the shadow of the apple tree. When Toby Toby steals the moon from the sky they go on an adventure across the stars and the sea. But, is it all just a dream? Based on the book by author and illustrator Marie-Louise Gay, written in French…

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Moonbeam On A Cat’s Ear

28th November 2019 @ 1:30 pm - 2:15 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£6.00

Adapted from the book by Marie-Louise Gay and produced by Vision Mechanics.“A visual adventure with puppetry, movement and music for children ages 3+” In the middle of the night Rosie, Toby Toby, the cat and the mouse sneak out to play in the shadow of the apple tree. When Toby Toby steals the moon from the sky they go on an adventure across the stars and the sea. But, is it all just a dream? Based on the book by author and illustrator Marie-Louise Gay, written in French (Voyage au…

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A Skye Full of Star Charity Fashion Show.

30th November 2019 @ 7:00 pm - 11:00 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£3.00 – £5.00

A Skye Full of Stars Charity Fashion show in memory of Skye Mitchell. There will be live music, a raffle plus the bar will be open. All proceeds, to‘A Skye Full of Stars’ A charity to help young people in  Millom area to further their ambitions. www.askyefullofstars.co.uk

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December 2019

Beauty and the Beast

4th December 2019 @ 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£6.00 – £8.00

Be our guest this Christmas and enjoy a tale as old as time with Wonder Productions and their Brand New production of Beauty and the Beast as part of a six-week national tour Bookworm Belle lives a quiet provincial life but it quickly turns to danger when she finds herself imprisoned in an enchanted castle by a hideous Beast. Appearances can be deceiving. Can Belle see beyond the Beast’s façade to find true love with the cursed Prince Louis within?  Join Dame Tilly Tarte, Phillipe Fillop and the Enchantress of…

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James Phelan: Troublemaker

7th December 2019 @ 8:00 pm - 10:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£10.00 – £15.00

** DUE TO UNFORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCES TONIGHT'S SHOW WILL BE RESCHEDULED** James Phelan presents his unique magical prank show that is both jaw-dropping and laugh out loud funny.  Troublemaker is a mind-blowing roller coaster filled with mystery and hilarity – from mind-reading outrageous confessions from members of the audience to risking the safety of iPhones. Nephew of the great Paul Daniels; and with several million videos views under his belt, plus a flagship BBC radio show – James is now tipped as one of most anticipated magical performers in a generation.…

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Under the Frozen Moon

8th December 2019 @ 2:30 pm - 3:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£6.00 – £8.00

Half a String Proudly Present Under the Frozen Moon It’s so cold in Nunavut that the moon has frozen. A greedy dragon has gobbled every fire and every light leaving only the white glow of the frozen moon. Under the dazzling aurora and glittering stars, Amkas family huddle together, fishing for eels and knitting plenty of hats. In this heartwarming tale, a fierce, courageous young girl sets out to confront the dragon who has hoarded all the fire and lights for himself. With lively poetry, transforming sets, exciting puppetry and atmospheric live music, Under the FrozenMoon brings life to a beautiful world…

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Ken Loach: Sorry we missed you

9th December 2019 @ 7:30 pm - 9:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£5.00

Ricky and his family have been fighting an uphill struggle against debt since the 2008 financial crash. An opportunity to wrestle back some independence appears with a shiny new van and the chance to run a franchise as a self-employed delivery driver. It's hard work, and his wife's job as a carer is no easier. The family unit is strong but when both are pulled in different directions everything comes to breaking point. Released on November 1st 2019 £5 suggested donation cover cost and all profit to be donated to…

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The Scrooge Diaries

12th December 2019 @ 7:30 pm - 9:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£5.00 – £12.00

The Real Story of A Christmas Carol ‘Marley was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that.’ “Oh no he wasn’t! Bah! Dead? Humbug, Mr.Dickens! Dead? As sure as the clothes moths in my wardrobe have be-shredded my best nightcap, Marley was not dead but rather sitting on some sun-soaked, off-shore beach squandering all the hard-earned money that he had so fraudulently embezzled from my firm over the years! Dead? Bah! You know nothing Mr.Dickens! YOU are a fraud sir – an embezzler of the truth! A…

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February 2020

Quentin Crisp: Naked Hope

February 14 @ 7:30 pm - 9:00 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£12.00 – £14.00

Fresh from its Off-Broadway debut and milestone 100th performance, Mark Farrelly’s hugely acclaimed solo play 'Quentin Crisp: Naked Hope' comes to the Beggar's Theatre. From a conventional upbringing to global notoriety via The Naked Civil Servant, Quentin Crisp was one of the most memorable figures of the twentieth century. Openly gay as early as the 1930s, Quentin spent decades being beaten up on London’s streets for his refusal to be anything less than himself. His courage and the philosophy that evolved from those experiences inspire to the present day. Naked Hope…

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Mari Wilson: The Pop Deluxe Tour

February 20 @ 8:00 pm - 10:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£25.00

MARI WILSON Mari’s back on tour in 2020 with her stellar musicians to bring you a collection from her body of work over the years. Expect a “best of” featuring songs from all her albums including 1982’s Showpeople through to 2016’s Pop Deluxe and a few unusual surprises. Not forgetting the glamour Mari is known for! Mari’s live performances have become legendary since first arriving on the scene in 1982 with her 12 piece band, The Wilsations and her skyscraper beehive hairdo. Celebrated as The Neasden Queen of Soul, she…

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The Last Quiz Night On Earth

February 27 @ 7:30 pm - 9:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£5.00 – £12.00

“The End of the World Quiz waits for no man, literally. Onwards ever onwards to our fiery decline. Round Three…” It’s the end of the world. The last night on earth. An asteroid is heading straight for us. Fancy going out with a bang? It’s the final countdown. Landlady Kathy invites you to the last quiz night on earth with Quizmaster Rav. He’s the host with the most. But with time ticking, some unexpected guests turn up out of the blue. Bobby wants to settle old scores and Fran wants…

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The Price of Land

February 28 @ 7:30 pm - 9:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£10.00

The Price of Land Eight voices, eight stories, eight working lives, eight moments spread across half a millenium. Each playing a part in building our unique Cumbrian landscape. This powerful verse-drama gives a voice to the forgotten people of the County: the quarrymen and miners, charcoal burners, peat-cutters, drovers, drystone-wallers and farmers of Cumbria. Through a series of episodes from 1568 to 2018 we hear stories that remind us that our experience of living and working in the rural North today has its roots in a shared and often uncompromising…

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March 2020

Patti Boulaye: Aretha & Me

March 6 @ 8:00 pm - 10:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£25.00
Patti Boulaye

Following the last two years of sell-outs of her show “Billie & Me” the award-winning singer and musical theatre star Patti Boulaye, returns to the stage, with her brand new one-woman show “Aretha and Me”. In this fascinating show, Patti compares and contrasts her life with that of the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, whose celebrated career included 17 Top 10 singles and 20 No.1 R&B hits during her 5 decades of recording. Patti Boulaye will be singing some of her favourite Aretha Franklin numbers including Respect, Say A Little…

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A Midsummer Nights Dream

March 13 @ 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£7.50 – £9.50

Runaways. Fairies. Goblins. WATER PISTOLS!?! Look out, it’s Rubbish Shakespeare! This time, our madcap cast of four have the Bard’s impish tale of forbidden love and pixies in their sights.  Their plan, to stage the greatest edition of the Dream ever seen complete with magic in it and everything. Will they succeed? Of course not - they’re ‘Rubbish!’ Sit back, relax and giggle along, as our four hapless idiots fail for an hour for your amusement.  Full of high-octane slapstick action and mischievous storytelling, this vibrant reimagining brings belly laughs for…

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The Real Thing

March 14 @ 8:00 pm - 11:00 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£25.00
The Real Thing

Multi-million selling soul band The Real Thing are ready to give their much loved disco-inspired hits a new lease of life, with an extensive UK tour. Featuring the group’s two original vocalists Chris Amoo and Dave Smith, along with their 5-piece band, The Real Thing deliver a funky ‘in your face’ show with a strong ‘retro flavour’ with the band’s classic songs mixed with contemporary grooves. Celebrating over 45 years in the music industry. As well as the success of their debut hit single ‘You to Me Are Everything’, these Liverpool…

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August 2020

The Grand Cavalcade

August 1 @ 12:01 am - 1:00 am
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£6.00

The Grand Cavalcade Three seasoned showmen Gary (Gacko) Bridgens, Ian (The Storyteller) Douglas and Dieter (Professor Pumpernickel) Wadeson are regular performers at many leading national and international festivals delivering high quality family-friendly entertainment, often commanding huge audiences but also specialists in smaller, more intimate, bespoke experiences. From Glasgow to Glastonbury, San Francisco to Scarborough, Dubai to Durham, these three versatile professional showmen have performed at countless events and have come together to offer you a brand new show for your 2020 Summer season. Our three performers would usually be in…

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September 2020

BAR! Pre-order your Drinks for ‘Spitfire Solo’

September 18 @ 7:00 pm - 10:00 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
Free – £16.00

If you are attending 'Spitfire Solo' please pre-book your entry and Interval drinks. Due to the current Covid-19 situation, we are asking all customers to pre-book and pay for their drink in advance of upcoming shows. We shall allocate you a seat for you/ your bubble and will have tables nearby with your prepared drinks. The Bar will be open for extra drinks.Staff preparing your drinks will be wearing gloves and masks. If you are having any problems, please send us an email with the drinks you would like to…

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Spitfire Solo

September 18 @ 7:30 pm - 9:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£8 – £14.00

Spitfire Solo-Written and Performed by Nicholas Collett.Directed by Gavin Robertson. Created in 2011, and launched in Adelaide, Australia in 2012, one of the shows Gavin has helped create in his career… It is June of the new Millennium. For eighty-year old Peter Walker, ex-Battle of Britain pilot, an unexpected new challenge is about to begin. From the comfort of the Silver Birches Retirement Home, he must once again find the resilience, determination and strength to do what must be done. As he re-lives past glories, losses, wartime experiences, family memories…

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Glory Days

September 19 @ 8:00 pm - 10:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£18.00

The full E-Street, the seven-piece line-up will take you on a blast down Thunder Road playing all the 'classics' on the way. They are more than likely to throw in a few choice album tracks too! These boys will rock for over three hours (when they're allowed) and give you an authentic Springsteen experience. Their sets have included just about everything over the years and you will always be treated to a great mix of songs old and new, from Jungleland and Thunder Road to The River and Promised Land,…

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