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February 2020

Quentin Crisp: Naked Hope

February 14 @ 7:30 pm - 9:00 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£12.00 – £14.00
Quentin Crisp: Naked Hope

Fresh from its Off-Broadway debut and milestone 100th performance, Mark Farrelly’s hugely acclaimed solo play 'Quentin Crisp: Naked Hope' comes to the Beggar's Theatre. From a conventional upbringing to global notoriety via The Naked Civil Servant, Quentin Crisp was one of the most memorable figures of the twentieth century. Openly gay as early as the 1930s, Quentin spent decades being beaten up on London’s streets for his refusal to be anything less than himself. His courage and the philosophy that evolved from those experiences inspire to the present day. Naked Hope…

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Mari Wilson: The Pop Deluxe Tour

February 20 @ 8:00 pm - 10:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£25.00
Mari Wilson

MARI WILSON Mari’s back on tour in 2020 with her stellar musicians to bring you a collection from her body of work over the years. Expect a “best of” featuring songs from all her albums including 1982’s Showpeople through to 2016’s Pop Deluxe and a few unusual surprises. Not forgetting the glamour Mari is known for! Mari’s live performances have become legendary since first arriving on the scene in 1982 with her 12 piece band, The Wilsations and her skyscraper beehive hairdo. Celebrated as The Neasden Queen of Soul, she…

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The Last Quiz Night On Earth

February 27 @ 7:30 pm - 9:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£5.00 – £12.00
The Last Quiz Night On Earth

“The End of the World Quiz waits for no man, literally. Onwards ever onwards to our fiery decline. Round Three…” It’s the end of the world. The last night on earth. An asteroid is heading straight for us. Fancy going out with a bang? It’s the final countdown. Landlady Kathy invites you to the last quiz night on earth with Quizmaster Rav. He’s the host with the most. But with time ticking, some unexpected guests turn up out of the blue. Bobby wants to settle old scores and Fran wants…

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The Price of Land

February 28 @ 7:30 pm - 9:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£10.00

The Price of Land Eight voices, eight stories, eight working lives, eight moments spread across half a millenium. Each playing a part in building our unique Cumbrian landscape. This powerful verse-drama gives a voice to the forgotten people of the County: the quarrymen and miners, charcoal burners, peat-cutters, drovers, drystone-wallers and farmers of Cumbria. Through a series of episodes from 1568 to 2018 we hear stories that remind us that our experience of living and working in the rural North today has its roots in a shared and often uncompromising…

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March 2020

Patti Boulaye: Aretha & Me

March 6 @ 8:00 pm - 10:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£25.00
Patti Boulaye

Following the last two years of sell-outs of her show “Billie & Me” the award-winning singer and musical theatre star Patti Boulaye, returns to the stage, with her brand new one-woman show “Aretha and Me”. In this fascinating show, Patti compares and contrasts her life with that of the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin, whose celebrated career included 17 Top 10 singles and 20 No.1 R&B hits during her 5 decades of recording. Patti Boulaye will be singing some of her favourite Aretha Franklin numbers including Respect, Say A Little…

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A Midsummer Nights Dream

March 13 @ 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£7.50 – £9.50

Runaways. Fairies. Goblins. WATER PISTOLS!?! Look out, it’s Rubbish Shakespeare! This time, our madcap cast of four have the Bard’s impish tale of forbidden love and pixies in their sights.  Their plan, to stage the greatest edition of the Dream ever seen complete with magic in it and everything. Will they succeed? Of course not - they’re ‘Rubbish!’ Sit back, relax and giggle along, as our four hapless idiots fail for an hour for your amusement.  Full of high-octane slapstick action and mischievous storytelling, this vibrant reimagining brings belly laughs for…

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The Real Thing

March 14 @ 8:00 pm - 11:00 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£25.00
The Real Thing

Multi-million selling soul band The Real Thing are ready to give their much loved disco-inspired hits a new lease of life, with an extensive UK tour. Featuring the group’s two original vocalists Chris Amoo and Dave Smith, along with their 5-piece band, The Real Thing deliver a funky ‘in your face’ show with a strong ‘retro flavour’ with the band’s classic songs mixed with contemporary grooves. Celebrating over 45 years in the music industry. As well as the success of their debut hit single ‘You to Me Are Everything’, these Liverpool…

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Elo Beatles Beyond: The Lynne and McCartney Story

March 28 @ 8:00 pm - 11:00 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£18.00 – £20.00
ELO Beatles Beyond

The Lynne and McCartney Story is fronted by top Jeff Lynne and Paul McCartney lookalikes/soundalikes, and performs the greatest hits of ELO, Paul McCartney & Wings & The Beatles and more. As well as loads of great music, the show tells the story behind some of the greatest hits of all-time, and how the careers of these two songwriting legends have crossed over the years. It is in celebration of this unique association, that we started ELO Beatles Beyond to play the fabulous crossover catalogue of Lynne and McCartney and…

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April 2020

100% Simon Brodkin

April 11 @ 8:00 pm - 10:00 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£20.00

100% SIMON BRODKIN After three hugely successful BBC series as Lee Nelson, multiple sell-out tours and various court appearances following world-famous stunts on Theresa May, Sepp Blatter, Donald Trump, Kanye West and Britain’s Got Talent, the award-winning comedian unleashes his funniest creation yet… himself!  Fresh from a critically-acclaimed, sell-out run at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, Simon takes his debut stand-up show 100% Simon Brodkin on a nationwide tour. One of The Guardian’s ‘Top Shows At The Fringe One of The Evening Standard’s ‘Best Comedy Shows at The Fringe’ “A sublime piece of comedy” The List “Sky-high gag rate” Metro “Hilarious”…

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Strictly Sherlock

April 18 @ 7:30 pm - 9:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£12.00 – £14.00

After the terrific success of The Singular Exploits of Sherlock Holmes, we return with this follow-up stage play. Join the king of the detectives as he brings to life those three startling cases, The Sussex Vampire, The Creeping Man and The Devil's Foot! Jonathan Goodwin returns as Sherlock Holmes, in a show scripted by himself and co-directed by Goodwin and Gary Archer. **WHEN BOOKING PLEASE ADD MANUALLY HOW MANY TICKETS YOU WOULD LIKE** 

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Nick Helm: Phoenix from the flame

April 25 @ 8:00 pm - 10:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£13.50

“Resurrected from the ashes, come and witness two time Edinburgh Comedy Award Nominee and International Treasure In Waiting shaking his ass, singing songs and righting wrongs. You don’t deserve this... 'The man is brutal, but by AC/DC he's talented with it.' The latest ★★★★★ ‘Pretty f*cking amazing. A true comedy daredevil’ Time Out ★★★★” **WHEN BOOKING PLEASE ADD MANUALLY HOW MANY TICKETS YOU WOULD LIKE** 

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May 2020

Jonny Awsum is coming to town!

May 1 @ 8:00 pm - 11:00 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£10.00 – £14.00
Jonny Awsum

Jonny Awsum shot to fame on Britain’s Got Talent with his performances of ‘This Is A Musical’ with Ant and Dec, and ‘The Triangle Song’ with David Walliams, winning standing ovations and unanimous approval from the judges and achieving over 50 million online views of his performances. Following BGT Jonny enjoyed a whirlwind 18 months including a sell-out five-star reviewed run at the Edinburgh Fringe, a starring role in his first pantomime and tour support to both Lost Voice Guy and Tape Face on their hit UK theatre tours. After…

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Bye Bye Baby Live

May 2 @ 8:00 pm - 11:00 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£20.00 – £23.00
Bye Bye Baby

Bye Bye Baby are a jaw-dropping concert to the musical phenomenon Jersey Boys and the timeless, iconic music of Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons. Incredible four-part harmonies, roof-raising falsetto complete with energetic and stylish choreography – all backed by their excellent 4-piece band –ensures that Bye Bye Baby is a show that will make it a night remember! The show includes Valli’s greatest hits including Sherry, December ’63 (Oh What A Night), Grease, Can’t Take My Eyes Off You and many more... https://youtu.be/Q0s0jSlwNWc byebyebabylive.co.uk See More Shows... **WHEN BOOKING…

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Roald Dahl and the Imagination Seekers

May 10 @ 2:30 pm - 3:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£7.50 – £9.50
Roald Dahl and the Imagination Seekers

A family show inspired by the works of Roald Dahl. All around the world Roald Dahl's words are disappearing, not only from books but children's minds too! Now only an organisation known as the ancient guild of tale tenders can save the stories - and they need your help. Roald Dahl and the Imagination Seekers is a theatrical and interactive experience, especially made for all the family to enjoy. It's a thrilling story delivered through performance, games and creative play that explores Roald Dahl's extraordinary stories, including Charlie and the…

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Done to Death by Jove

May 15 @ 7:30 pm - 9:00 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£12.00 – £14.00
Done to death by Jove

Done to death by Jove The 39 Steps meets An Inspector Calls via Agatha Christie and Midsomer Murders. A cast of 6 bring a comic flurry of suspects and characters together to discover who done what, and why except, well 4 of the cast are stuck by the side of the road in the van, and only Gavin and Nick have managed to get to the venue but the show must go on. Comic clichs from the Detective genre - lords and ladies, shady servants, secrets, motives and cunning police-work…

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The George Michael Story

May 23 @ 8:00 pm - 11:00 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£23.00
The George Michael Story

Welcome to The George Michael Story with live shows at venues across the UK. The only truly accurate tribute to George Michael. The only touring show to perform George Michael’s hits in chronological order. The George Michael Story tells in detail, the career of George and his 100 million record selling history. The show starts with George in the Wham! days and then into the Grammy Award-winning ‘Faith’ album, through to George’s more mature hits, so touch on some of his emotional and heartfelt songs. Expect to be taken on a musical journey of George’s biggest hits celebrating…

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Patrick Monahan: Started from the bottom now I’m here!

May 30 @ 8:00 pm - 11:00 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£16.00
Patrick Monahan

Patrick Monahan: Started From The Bottom, Now l’m Here Smart and funny observations on a new found, middle class lifestyle with ski holidays, through the prism of poor, immigrant, living-in-a-caravan roots. As seen on The One Show (BBC), Fake Reaction (ITV), Celebrity Squares (ITV) Patrick is a Fringe legend and it's easy to see why DAILY MIRROR ★★★★ Rip roaringly funny…..fun! Another hour would have suited everyone ★★★★★ One4ReviewHilarious Three Weeks ★★★★★ There isn’t a comic quite like him thenewcurrent.com ★★★★★Possesses the rare ability to be hilarious without being outrageous…

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June 2020

Cello on Fire

June 6 @ 8:00 pm - 10:00 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£12.00

A Solo Cello Show - no standard Classical Recital but an extraordinary mix of styles, ranging literally from Baroque to Rock. Austrian cellist Peter Hudler combines astonishing virtuosity with inspired musicianship. His programme brings together specially commissioned works by contemporary musicians such as John Zorn with classical pieces from the likes of Bach and Debussy, plus a wide range of Jazz, Folk and cross-over music.  Peter Hudler introduces the pieces, explaining the background to them and including anecdotes and stories to keep it light for audiences. Altogether, it adds up…

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China Crisis: RETROspective

June 20 @ 8:00 pm - 10:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£25.00

Eddie Lundon and Gary Daly are the founder members of the band which started in Kirkby, Merseyside back in 1979. China Crisis found major success in the UK with five Top 40 singles, ten Top 50 singles and three Top 40 albums and hits across Australia, Europe and the Americas. The band are known for their string of hit singles, including African & White, Chrstian, Working with Fire and Steel, Black Man Ray and Wishful Thinking, The RETROspective tour will see the band performing these classics alongside songs from all…

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July 2020

Last of The Summer Wine

July 17 @ 7:30 pm - 9:30 pm
The Beggar’s Theatre, Market Square
Millom, Cumbria LA18 4HZ
£12.00 – £14.00

After his hit sell-out UK tour of DO YOU THINK THAT’S WISE? - the Life & Times of John Le Mesurier, acclaimed impressionist Julian Dutton brings the classic sitcom Last of the Summer Wine to the stage in a brand-new tour. In a sparkling adaptation of Roy Clarke’s world-famous comedy, Julian Dutton (“one of the best vocal performers around,” - BBC Comedy) recreates the immortal adventures of Foggy, Clegg & Compo, in three of their classic tales. Last of the Summer Wine is officially the longest-running and one of the…

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